Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize