If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think your dad took our porno
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
