Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
