Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
