the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize