But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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