Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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