once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
