he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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