don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
