Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!