Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.