Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground