She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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