you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
