my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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