we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
