He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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