I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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