We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
