did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
