people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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