I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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