help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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