i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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