Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
