That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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