either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
