Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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