she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
