Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
