my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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