She said her name was "party"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
