YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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