did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
