I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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