two words: eviction party
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
