i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
