It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
