last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she told me i tasted like america
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
