i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize