so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Damn victory sex feels great
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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