I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize