just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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