I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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