You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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