I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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