I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
