I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
then he tried to convert me to islam
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
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My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier