This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't deserve a penis
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
