Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage