Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry