she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize