so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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