HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
