my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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