Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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