I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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