dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize