Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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